what a day...

the day is finally over...

i've been dreading today for the longest time because i had a 15+ page paper due today with a 20 minute presentation. My stomach was in knots. but now its over and i can breathe! only a few things left until graduation ceremony!

so i got on facebook and my aunt has finally agreed to put pictures of my baby cousin on facebook! therefore, world, meet Riley Bug :D I'm so excited to finally get to show him off!!!! he is so stinkin' cute in his little suit!

its been a long day and i'm thinking about turning into bed earlier than 10 pm. sounds like a plan to me. goodnight to all.

so much homework, so little motivation...

I lost my motivation.

I dunno where it is.

i've stopped looking for it.

I have so much homework that its overwhelming me so i decided to "write it out"; my way of coping with stress, AND an added bonus, yet another way of procrastinating. I have a 20 minute presentation, a 15-20 page paper, 3-5 page paper, 4-6 page paper ALL due either tomorrow or tuesday. what are these teachers thinking?? I still need to pick up my cap and gown, which i keep forgetting about because i have so much other stuff done. I sent out my graduation invites finally, and when i say "I sent them out" i mean "Mom sent them out". i didn't have time to even remember them. Things keep popping up to remind me that i'm graduating, like the link the school sent me to check my name on the program for the graduation ceremony. that made me cry. just seeing my name on the graduation program under the college of education was a reality check. it caught me off guard. I was listening to the Dixie Chicks the other day (FLASHBACK!) and the song Wide Open Spaces came on and i got overwhelmed about life after graduation, and moving on, new places, and i cried AGAIN. i need to graduate soon before i have a panic attack.

I'm sure i'll be fine, and i'll succeed in life, but i'm just focused on getting through these next 2 weeks. God has a plan and i need to stop stressing over it, because nothing that catches me off guard is anything that God didnt see coming. He isnt surprised by the ups and downs of life because he WROTE my life story a long time ago.

Today is Easter Sunday and I feel sorta numb to everything going on around me. Even in church this morning i was distracted by all that life is about to throw my way, and it almost made me mad at myself because i couldnt get my thoughts to turn off worldly concerns, and just focus on JESUS RISING FROM THE DEAD! thats what Easter celebration is about! a feat that no human could do; only a Godly human could rise from the dead, saving the world, THE WHOLE WORLD, from their sins.

Good day though, spending time with family and Riley Bug. I wish i could put up a picture of him, he is so funny, but his mom and dad are crazy about him not having pictures on the internet. kinda ridiculous. anyway, hope everyone had a blessed holiday celebrating the rising of Jesus!

Love you all!

Patience is a virtue?

They say patience is a virtue. I'm trying to remember that in my search for a house to buy. The hardest part has been waiting for God's timing and my timing to match up. I want to find the perfect place that fits me, a roommate or two, and offers a location that is convenient; however, none of that is working out. im trying to take all the right steps to prepare myself: getting a new credit card, looking online, saving money, etc. i just want everything to turn out right. part of that is accepting that even if everything goes completely wrong, i'll still be okay.

the good news is, mom and dad bought a pontoon boat! the summer is going to be legit. we picked it up today. i dont think my dad can hide his excitement. he is already planning on fishing everyday on his lunch break. love his heart. i plan on getting my kayak out as soon as possible. Blue Steel misses the open waters. :)

ohh so pretty...

i finally finished my room! its orange and amazing. i still lack shelves, and a big huge comfy chair to place in front of my window, but other than that, it is finished. I want to find some retro looking shelves to put above my bed and put trinkets and antique-y hipster things on the shelves to make it look like a display room in IKEA. pretty stoked about it. here is a picture of my room as it curently is. doesnt it look soo awesome with the gray walls? i just lay in bed and stair at the walls. (that statement makes me sound crazy, but i promise i do so with a smile on my face).

along with redecorating my room at my parents house, i've been consumed with looking for a house to purchase. its so freaky to be looking for a house to BUY. its official: i'm old. i'm graduating from college, looking for a full-time job, and moving into a home that i'm BUYING. so weird. graduation is drawing near though! ahhhh

maybe something more exciting will happen that i can write about tomorrow :)

Redecorating and Moving

last couple days has been busy! i've been sick and not feeling well at all. Thursday night we had our annual swing dance, which was my idea last year. (still really proud of that). it was a big success. everyone dresses up in black and white attire and we have a swing dance instructor. since i've been sick, i wasnt feeling that well though so it was a really chill night for me. last night i went to watch Tommy and AJ play basketball at the Boys and Girls club in etown, theyre pretty good. the games get heated. met andrew's gf. she is quiet. andrew pretended to not know me. love when your friends do that.

today, i woke up and my parents and i painted my room gray! it looks so good! i love it. i'm so stoked about the orange wall. its going to be so amazing. it looks completely different than it did. heres a picture of the gray walls :)

after we painted, we wanted to take the couch that dad found on the side of the road to the lake house. the funny thing is, the couch that dad found is IDENTICAL to the one that sits in our living room. dad paid the guy 20 bucks to take it off his front yard. lol so now we have a pull out bed/couch at the lake house. it fits perfectly. the water is so low at the lake, but it will be back up to normal in a couple weeks and i cant wait to kayak. i'm counting down for it! heres a picture of the water currently.  the house that's in the picture will be floating by the end of march! craziness!

Decorating?

Soooo in an attempt to get me to stay home and not move out, even though i'm 22, my mother suggested a full room redecorating project. my room has had MICKEY MOUSE WALLPAPER FOR 16 YEARS. my mother suggesting this means she really wants me to stay. I cant stay here forever though. I need the experience of moving out, being on my own, and leaping even if i fall. I dont want to live at home until i get married, move in with a man, something tragically happen to him, and be forced to figure out life on my own for the first time as a 40-something year old adult. That seems morbid, but its realistic. I never got the "college" experience of living on my own, not that i wanted to go out and get crazy, but i would have appreciated the chance to grow up on my own. that being said, mom still wants to redecorate my room. so my room is going to be a burnt orange color on one wall, and a light gray on the other 3 walls. its going to look awesome. I've always wanted an orange wall, and i'm sooooo excited to see that little dream become a reality. well heres a before picture so we can keep up. we've only taken the wallpaper off but it already makes me happy that mickey mouse is GONE.

Bloggidy blog blog

Things to worry about: Graduating in May, getting a full-time job, 5 classes at school, my part-time job at the after school program, buying a house, mortgaging the before mentioned house, lack of current relationships, too much social time, not enough social time, homework, friends, redecorating my room, financial security...blah, blah, blah. i've had a lot of my mind lately. (okay, thats technically a lie; i always have a lot on my mind and there has never been a time where i've been completely carefree to where i'd want to skip through fields of daisies and sing about my excitement for life).

all that anguish being said, i've been wanting to start a journal; i just get a hand cramp when i am hand writing in a journal i overpaid for, and i feel dumb trying to write in my bed in an uncomfortable position where my hand goes out, and then i'm tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. its just a mess, really. soooo blogging was suggested to me. It's basically Xanga, just 6 years later when everyone is less immature about it. so this blog is for no one but myself. unless people choose to read it and want to offer me a job writing somewhere, which would take the "getting a full-time job" worry off my list up there.

so here is life in a nutshell (a gignormous nutshell that seems to be closing in around me):

i'm graduating from COLLEGE. not high school, but COLLEGE. i dont know how this happened. it feels like only yesterday (and that's another thing, you know its time to just start eating beets and check into funeral arrangements when you use the phrase, "it feels like only yesterday") when i started college as a freaked out freshman trying to pretend that i had it all together. i cant believe the university let this happen to me. it feels like i havent learned anything and i'm just waiting for the university to kick me out, laugh at me as they close the doors, and have the real world slap me in the face upon realizing that i A) need a job. B) need a place to live. and C) you are no longer a college student, but an adult with a mortage, no idea of what your future holds, and endless possibilities. now i'm all up for adventure, but hearing that i have 'endless possibilities' is kinda frightening. where to go from here??????


wellllll, world........

 bring it.